文／ 美國佛心寺禪修班學員 Mark Cunningham
I first started reading and observing Buddhist principles and material a couple of years ago. This past fall I started attending "Beginning Meditation Classes" at Buddha Mind Monastery in Oklahoma. I wanted to find a teacher who could teach me better ways to practice and help to guide me and share their experience with me as tried to deepen my efforts of practicing the principles that I had read about.The more that I read and, more importantly, the more that I tried to "apply" what I read to my life, the more I felt it was becoming a "truthful way of life" for me. Not only did it enhance some of the spiritual practices and principles that I was already making a part of my life, it offered a "hope" for me in crossing through some areas of my life that are still causing me to suffer, and maybe more importantly than just me, they are areas of my life that also have caused suffering for others that are dear to me too.
While I am far from "enlightened" I know in my heart of hearts that I am on this path and that while I am just a beginner, I know that there is some power or pull "within" that keeps moving me in a direction of growth in a positive way.
No doubt, the losses and failures in my life have been the biggest catalyst for lasting beneficial change in my life. To date, one of the biggest losses or troubles that I have ever had to face was alcoholism; many of the principles that I was taught in rebuilding my life and overcoming alcoholism are central to the Noble Eightfold Path. Self-examination (Right Mindfulness and Right Understanding), amending relationships (Right Action), and helping others are all principles that I try to practice in my life.
Where does tolerance fit in? Buddhism has helped me to be able to better practice tolerance for others. My intolerance for others and not allowing them the dignity of growing as they are supposed to grow in their own time is a guarantee for a disaster in my relationship with others. Meditation and contemplation in how to better understand them have helped me to have a more kind and tolerant view towards others.
Sometimes the best that I can do is to "step back" from the moment until a later time when I have a chance to let the "emotions of the moment" subside and clearer thinking prevail. Now those are nice ways of saying it and on paper it sure looks a lot better than how it might really happen in real life. Some days life just seems to "come at you", and all the spiritual tools in the world can't stop that. BUT, they do give me some assistance in how to respond.
I have always been fond of the story of the boy that was trying to learn to play the guitar. When you first are learning to play the guitar putting your fingers in the right spots for the chords is very awkward, sometimes uncomfortable. You strum the strings and a noise that is similar to the sound that the chord should make comes out of the guitar. The more you strum, the better the sound becomes. That is just one chord. Eventually the teacher has you move from one chord to another, it doesn't flow anything like a beautiful song for some time as you practice. At first it isn't always a pretty sound, but in time with more practice eventually you become able to make that "joyful sound" that you had hoped to be able to make one day.
That to me is how the spiritual life seems to work too. I will be able to play a beautiful melody in my life.
（幾年前，我開始接觸佛法。直到今年秋天，我才到美國奧克拉荷馬州的佛心寺上初級禪修班。我希望找一位能善用方法來引導修行的老師，除了分享修行經驗外，同時也能帶領我更深入地實踐過去所學的教理。
隨著薰修的深入，不斷地將所學應用到日常生活中時，我益加地感受到佛法才是人生的真理。佛法不僅在修行方法及教理上豐富了我的心靈生活，當我在人生十字路口不斷掙扎時，它帶給了我希望。不僅如此，當我親愛的家人和朋友們陷入困境時，佛法也為我們帶來光明。
雖說距離開悟還很遠，但我心裡明白，我走的是一條正確的道路。雖然我只是初學者，但我知道，有一股內在的力量帶著我一路走在正道上並不斷地成長。
毫無疑問，我這一生的失敗，就是生命轉折的最大助因。酗酒是我生命中曾經面臨的最大困境之一，而我所學到的如何克服、面對以重建新生命的所有道理，都離不開八正道的核心。例如，自我反省（正見與正念）、改善人際關係（正業），以及幫助他人等，都是我在生活中努力實踐的道理。
忍辱的作用何在？佛法幫助我更落實容忍的功夫。我在人際關係上的失敗，歸因於無法包容他人，甚至不容許他人在成長過程中擁有應有的尊嚴。藉由靜坐觀行，我更能同理他人，也更加地慈悲與包容。
有時，我所能做到的最佳狀況是在事情的當下「退一步」，並在事後讓自己的情緒冷靜下來，使思緒變得清晰。有時，這些道理看似紙上談兵，而且，說的遠比在現實生活中落實容易多了，當事情衝著你來時，所學的一切心靈妙方似乎都派不上用場。即使如此，佛法依然在我面對、處理這些問題時，提供了很大的幫助。
我一直很喜歡一個男孩學彈吉他的故事。剛開始學的時候，要把手放在正確的位置上彈出和弦，真是不靈活又難受，彈奏出來的聲音也跟噪音差不多。但是，愈彈聲音就愈好聽。而這不過是彈一個和弦而已，時間久了，老師一定會要求從一個和弦換到另一個和弦。這個時候，聽起來一點都不像一首動人的曲子。但只要練習久了，最後就可以如自己所期望的彈出美妙的音樂。
對我而言，修行生活也是如此，只要不斷地練習，就能彈奏出美妙的生命樂章。）
